Video: People Pleaser – Difficult Person Type 9

The most dangerous word at work isn’t “No”. It’s “Yes.”

“Yes, I’ll sort it.”
“Yes, that’s fine.”
“Yes, leave it with me.”

Because sometimes that “Yes” doesn’t mean agreement. It means avoidance.

In this final instalment of my 9 Types of Difficult People series, I explore Type 9: The People Pleaser.

Warm. Trusted. Well connected.
At their best, they create harmony and steady performance.

But under pressure, that desire for harmony can lead to avoided conversations, slipping standards, and important changes being delayed.

You can’t have real harmony if standards are falling.
And the standard you walk past becomes the standard you accept.

If you lead a People Pleaser, don’t just take agreement at face value.
If you are one, there’s good news: when you develop the confidence to have difficult conversations, you don’t lose your warmth — you gain your influence.

This is the ninth and final type in the series.
In the next video, I’ll wrap it all up and share some essential tips that will always help.

I’m Nick Robinson and I help leaders and teams to turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships. My book The 9 Types of Difficult People is an Amazon and WHS best-seller. My current focus is The Shift, an in-person development programme for Senior Leadership Teams who sense that they are not yet working as well together as they could.

Video: Dark Strategist – Difficult Person Type 2

Some of the most difficult people at work aren’t disruptive or emotional. Instead, they treat others like chess pieces, objects to be moved around in the dark, in service of a grand plan.

In this short video, I talk about the Dark Strategist, Type Two in The 9 Types of Difficult People.

Dark Strategists are often insightful and ambitious. They like having a clear plan and working behind the scenes to perfect it.

Problems start when the plan begins to matter more than the people. Colleagues can be moved around without consultation, information may be withheld, and decisions taken quietly without buy-in.

The impact is often people feeling manipulated, excluded, and undervalued.

You’ll also hear what helps. How leaders and coaches can role-model inclusive collaboration, and why remembering that the map is not the territory can make such a difference. I also touch on how to influence a Dark Strategist by speaking their language and engaging with the big picture, the strategy, and the wider business model.

With the right coaching, Dark Strategists can become powerful, insightful leaders that people actually want to follow.

Article: Scary Specialist – Difficult Person Type 1

Some of the most difficult people at work are difficult precisely because they’re so good at what they do. They deliver, they set the standard and they make it very clear when others don’t meet that standard.

In this article I’ll explore the Scary Specialist: type 1 in my 9 Types of Difficult People. I’ll look at:

  • The core pattern behind the Scary Specialist
  • The paradox at the heart of their behaviour
  • Practical ways to respond, whether you lead them or work alongside them

 

Who the Scary Specialist Is

The Scary Specialist is the expert who really isn’t afraid to let you know that they’re the expert.

These are people with deep knowledge and serious capability. They care about competence, pace, quality, and they set the bar very high for themselves and for everyone else.

At their best, they can really be the engine room of your business; driving results and driving success.

When it Starts to go Wrong

But things get difficult when anything threatens their ability to deliver.

That might be a weak process or a colleague who isn’t pulling their weight. Or a change that threatens their independence or threatens their control over their domain.

And when that happens, they become even more critical and even more demanding, and they will say exactly what they think no matter how brutally honest.

The Impact on Others

So you might notice people starting to tiptoe around them, or that new joiners to their department don’t last very long, and that other people start to leave the organisation because of them.

And this is the paradox, of course.

The Scary Specialist values competence above all else. But under pressure, their behaviour creates fear and silence and withdrawal in others.

And so the overall performance of the organisation, your organisational competency starts to suffer.

Leading a Scary Specialist

So if you are leading a Scary Specialist, you need to be very clear about any negative impacts they’re having.

Vague feedback or hoping they’ll somehow get nicer rarely works.

Above all, as a leader, you need to demand that your Scary Specialist continues to raise their level of competence. But not just their technical skills or their know-how, but also their competence in their own leadership and their competence in how they relate to other people.

Working with a Scary Specialist

If you’re working for, or alongside a Scary Specialist, two things really matter.

  1. Raise your own standards where you genuinely can. Become really good at your job. That’s all they really want from you;
  2. Be clear about your boundaries and be prepared to stand up for your boundaries.

 

Scary Specialists, respect, drive, and independence. So just tell them directly whenever their behaviour crosses some kind of a line for you. And the more direct you are in this, the more likely you are to get a good result from them.

At Their Best

At their best, Scary Specialists are not really scary at all.

They’re the experts whose drive and standards lift everyone around them.

But that only works, of course, when their expertise serves the whole organisation and not just their small patch of it.

About Me

I’m an executive coach helping leaders and senior teams turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships.

My first full-length book, The 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson, is an Amazon and WHSmith best-seller. https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1292726067

My new flagship programme The Shift is a team development experience for senior leadership teams who sense they’re not yet working well enough together, maybe not firing on all cylinders, even if no one has said it out loud. https://www.nickrobinson.org/the-shift-leadership-team-development

Video: The Rock Difficult Person Type 8

That “stubborn” colleague slowing everything down? They’re not blocking progress – they’re protecting the foundations.

Meet the Rock – Type 8 in The 9 Types of Difficult People

Rocks are the calm, steady figures who keep everything running smoothly… until change threatens the stability they’ve built. Their resistance isn’t negativity – it’s caution born from responsibility.

In this short video, I explain:

🎯 Why Rocks hold back when others want to move fast

🤝 How to earn their trust and turn them into allies

🏗 The leadership moves that make progress possible without breaking what already works.

You’ll learn how to lead through trust, not pressure – and how to build teams that balance safety with change.

From my book The 9 Types of Difficult People – helping leaders and teams turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships.

The Rock: Difficult Person Type 8

If you have a colleague who is not moving a project forward and it feels as if you have hit solid granite, nothing budging no matter how hard you push, that is a Rock. Type 8 in my 9 Types of Difficult People.

On the surface, a Rock is usually calm, dependable and unshakeable. Underneath, they’re gripping the foundation so tightly that nothing can shift until they are convinced it is safe.

And this is where the problems start. Progress slows, deadlines slide, and everyone else wonders why everything takes so long!

What’s Really Going On

Rocks have an instinct for how everything fits together. They see the invisible plumbing of an organisation: all the connections and dependencies.

They worry that if one valve is turned too quickly, something somewhere else will burst. Their resistance is not laziness and it’s not awkwardness. It’s fear that something important will break.

Good Foundations – But No Building

I once worked with a Rock who was responsible for a key operational system. Whenever the leadership team launched a new project, he would nod, take the papers and then disappear for weeks.

When I asked how things were going, he would say: “Oh, it’s all fine; we’re tidying up the old database first.”

What he really meant was: I am making sure the foundations are solid before I build on top. The problem was that no one else knew progress wasn’t happening!

If You’re Leading or Coaching a Rock

The worst thing you can do is treat their caution as negativity. Instead:

  • Show that you understand the risks they are guarding against
  • Demonstrate your own sense of responsibility; that you’ve also thought through the consequences of what’s going on
  • Involve them early in the planning process, so that you can ask them what they think could go wrong; and
  • Make sure you listen properly to their concerns

Once they know you value their foresight, they will shift from blocker to ally.

When You’re Working with a Rock

Persuasion works best when it is framed as problem avoidance.

  • Don’t say: “We need to do this to innovate.”
  • Do say: “We need to do this now, so it doesn’t cause bigger problems later on.”

If you speak their language of prevention and continuity, they will often quickly get on board.

If You Report to a Rock

Remember that Rocks often hold themselves and their teams to very high standards. They will put in long hours keeping everything running smoothly and will expect the same from you.

It helps to:

  • Set clear boundaries early, at the same time as …
  • Showing you are dependable
  • Making sure you don’t let their workload quietly swallow yours.

 

When Rocks Are at Their Best

They are the calm centre of the storm: solid, consistent, trusted by everyone.

They:

  • See how the moving parts connect
  • Anticipate problems before they appear
  • Give organisations the stability that allows real progress to happen

When you recognise that and include them properly, Rocks stop being barriers and become the foundation of lasting success.

About me

I am an executive coach helping leaders and senior teams turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships. I coach and write about how senior leadership teams can fulfil their potential and how leaders and managers can deal with difficult relationships and people at work. My first full-length book, The 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson, is an Amazon and WHSmith best-seller.

If you or your team might need coaching support, please get in touch.

Video: The Scary Specialist – Difficult Person Type 1

Ever worked with someone who gets results, but people keep leaving because of them?

This video looks at the Scary Specialist: the expert whose constant criticism and blunt honesty drive capable people out of the organisation.

In this video, I explore:

  • How their relentless criticism creates fear and silence
  • Why good people stop speaking up, disengage, or leave
  • The hidden cost of “brilliant but brutal” behaviour
  • What leaders must confront when expertise comes with a human price

Scary Specialists care deeply about standards. The irony is that their behaviour often destroys the very competency they value most!

For more on how to turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships, look out for my book The 9 Types of Difficult People, follow me here, or get in touch for more coaching and support.

Why People Become Difficult at Work

Adapted from my conversation with FM Magazine (AICPA & CIMA) for their leadership podcast series. Scroll down to listen to the podcast itself.

Most of us have found ourselves in tricky workplace situations — where relationships become strained, communication breaks down, or someone just seems difficult to deal with. It’s easy to label that behaviour as personality-driven, but the reality is more complex.

In my book The 9 Types of Difficult People, I talk about what I call the “perfect storm” of organisational factors that can make someone appear difficult to work with. These are pressures and patterns that, when combined, can turn even capable and well-intentioned people into challenging colleagues.

The Four Factors Behind Difficult Behaviour

When you look closely at what’s going on, there are usually four forces at play.

1. Everyday Stress and Pressure

The first is simply the everyday stresses and strains of working life — deadlines, uncertainty, change, and the constant demands to perform. Everyone has a natural way of responding when under pressure. I call this their Stress Strategy. It’s how they behave when they’re pushed outside their comfort zone, doing something unfamiliar, or when their confidence dips.

2. Positive Intention

Here’s the surprising truth: most “difficult” people don’t think they’re being difficult.
Ask them why they act the way they do, and you’ll often hear that they’re trying to do the right thing in a tough situation. In my language, that’s Positive Intention — the belief that one’s behaviour is justified and necessary. It’s a vital reminder that behind every difficult behaviour is someone doing their best to cope.

3. Self-Doubt and Imposter Feelings

Many people also carry a heavy load of self-doubt — the classic imposter syndrome. They fear being “found out” for not knowing enough, or that things will go wrong. These internal voices can amplify stress and lock people into defensive, unproductive habits.

4. Inflexible Approaches

Finally, there’s inflexibility — the tendency to keep doing things the way they’ve always been done, even when circumstances change. In today’s fast-moving organisations, that rigidity can quickly create friction with others.

When These Four Combine

When stress, self-doubt, rigid habits, and good intentions all collide, you often get someone who’s perceived as difficult— not because they want to be, but because they’re trapped in behaviours that no longer serve them or the team.

A More Useful Question

Rather than asking “Why are they being so difficult?” try asking:

“What might be happening for this person that makes them behave this way?”

That shift in perspective opens the door to compassion, curiosity, and better working relationships — the essence of great leadership.

🎧 This article is adapted from my interview on the FM Magazine Podcast: “Why People Are Difficult at Work.”
📘 It draws on insights from my book, The 9 Types of Difficult People: How to Spot Them and Quickly Improve Working Relationships (Pearson).

‘Excess’ Stress Strategy: When Dealing with Pressure Goes Wrong – Difficult People Types 4, 5, and 6

“It feels like you’ve got hit by a truck when you work with them.”
“It’s like you’ve got this awful tiger by the tail and you can’t let go.”
“They just shoot the messenger every time they want to control their image.”

These are real things people have said to me about three types of difficult people I describe in the middle row of my Matrix of Difficult People.

What These Types Have in Common

The thing these three types share is what I call an Excess reaction when they are under stress. Put them under pressure and they will simply try harder and harder.

  • They push their to-do list with even more intensity.
  • They try to change everything as fast as possible.
  • They make sure nobody sees that anything might be going wrong.
  • They sweep up control to keep their empire and their image intact.

Isn’t Trying Harder a Good Thing?

If you are anything like me, you might think: Nick, what’s so bad about trying harder under pressure? Surely that’s a good thing.
And I agree. It is a good thing—until trying harder becomes the only strategy available and no longer fits the circumstances.

  • Ticking off tasks might not actually create meaningful change and instead makes colleagues feel like they’ve been hit by a truck.
  • Speeding up change might lock out key stakeholders or burn one bridge too many.

When that happens, the impact is no longer positive. What once worked now creates difficulty for everyone involved.

When One Strategy No Longer Fits

This is what happens when an Excess strategy takes over. The people on the middle row of my matrix – such as the Driving Force, the Revolutionary, and the Empire Builder – rely on a single way of working that no longer suits the situation. To those around them, it suddenly feels like they have become difficult.

Find Out More

If you want to know more about how these patterns play out and how to deal with them, have a look at my book
The 9 Types of Difficult People
or search for the hashtag #9typesofdifficultpeople. You will find more videos and resources on this subject.

I’m Nick Robinson, an executive coach with over 25 years’ professional experience helping people and teams transform challenging dynamics into great working relationships.
If you are dealing with a difficult relationship at work or a team that is not pulling together, check out the book or get in touch for more personal support.

The Worrier – Difficult Person Type 7

Ever worked with someone who’s brilliant but constantly on edge about getting things wrong?

So today I want to talk about the Worrier.

The Worrier is quite easy to spot at work. They tend to be a bit snappy (or even aggressive), and the reason they’re a bit aggressive or snappy about things is because they’re often terrified of making mistakes.

And this is the great paradox of the Worrier at work. Because they’re so focused on not getting things wrong, they often become unreliable. They drop the ball at key times and actually make mistakes.

They take the same approach with their teams. Of all the nine types of difficult people, Worriers are the most likely to become really awful micromanagers. They’ll stand over their team making sure nothing goes wrong, and of course they don’t give their team the time and space to learn and grow and do a good job. So their team ends up making mistakes too.

❤️ Why I like the Worrier

I like the Worrier. I mean, I like all nine types of difficult people, that’s why I work with them.

Worriers are kind of easy to help, because once you show them the patterns — that the mistakes are actually being caused by their attention on not making mistakes, and that they become unreliable and drop the ball because of that — once you can show them those patterns, the door is open for you to help them.

🧭 How to help a Worrier

If you’re leading or coaching a Worrier and you want to help develop them, the most important thing you can do is help them understand that it’s okay to make mistakes.

Normalise that sense of getting something wrong, recovering from it, and learning from the experience. That whole idea of falling forward.

The more you can do that, the more you can role-model:

“Here’s a mistake I made. Here’s how I recovered from it. Here’s what I learned, and here’s what that mistake actually made possible.”

The more you role-model that for them, the less their focus stays on getting things wrong, and the more it shifts to what is actually important about what they’re trying to do.

🎯 Keep their eyes on the prize

The second thing you’ll want to do, if you’re leading or coaching a Worrier, is help them soften their focus.

Instead of keeping their eyes on the thing that might go wrong, help them keep their eyes on the prize.

You’ll know this if you’ve ever taught a child how to ride a bicycle. You say to that child, “Oh, there’s a concrete post over there, don’t hit that post.”

And the first thing they do is ride their bike straight at that post.

What you actually want to do is say, “Hey, this is a really cool place to learn how to ride a bike. Tell you what, there’s a line of trees over there — let’s head roughly over towards those trees, then stop and see whether we want to ride back again.”

Just soften and widen the focus. Move their eyes away from what might go wrong, and keep them on what’s possible.

✅ In summary

Worriers want to do well. Their drive comes from fear of failure, but with the right support they can transform that fear into focus and reliability.

For more tips and coaching on how to deal with all kinds of challenging dynamics and build great working relationships, look out for The 9 Types of Difficult People, follow me here, or get in touch if you want more coaching and support.

 

The Empire Builder – Difficult Person Type 6

Empire Builders are the big personalities in the workplace: full of charisma, brimming with confidence, and often looking like natural leaders. They can inspire people to follow them almost anywhere. But when the pressure is on, that confidence is often revealed as bravado, and things can get very difficult. Dissent isn’t tolerated, complex issues are ignored, and anyone who challenges them may find themselves out in the cold.

In this video I explain how to recognise an Empire Builder and why their style can cause so much trouble when problems get complicated. More importantly, I share what you can do to handle them effectively: how to gain their trust, build open consensus with colleagues, and help them steer through the challenges they’d rather avoid.

This is type six in my series on the Nine Types of Difficult People, based on my book The 9 Types of Difficult People: How to spot them and quickly improve working relationships. If you want practical ways to turn tough dynamics into great working relationships, you’ll find them here.