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How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser at Work – My Book in Stylist Magazine

More great coverage of The 9 Types of Difficult People in the press, including this super article in Stylist Magazine on How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser at Work

Here’s some of the highlights from the article, which I’ve linked in full below.

🔍 Acknowledging the Issue
Realising that being a people-pleaser can hinder your professional growth in quite a few different negative ways.

📝 Preparing for Difficult Conversations
Techniques for handling those necessary but challenging conversations effectively.

🚫 The Art of Saying ‘No’
Strategies to assert your needs and priorities without adding to the conflict, so enabling healthier workplace dynamics.

💪 Reclaiming Your Power
Emphasising the importance of authentic communication and setting boundaries for personal and professional development.


Click here for the full article in Stylist Magazine.


 

Why People Become Difficult at Work

Ever experienced someone being really difficult to get on with at work, and wondered WHY?

There are four key reasons:

  1. Unconscious Reactions to Stress
    They’re reacting to what’s going in inside the organisation and its operating environment (and it’s likely there are things beyond their control that the organisation itself needs to fix)
  2. Positive Intentions
    They’re trying to achieve something but are having the wrong impact
  3. Self-Doubts and Self-Sabotage
    Their own thought-processes are piling on more pressure and more rigidity in how they behave
  4. Inflexible Approaches
    They’re not switching the focus of their intentions to suit the people and circumstances around them.

When things aren’t going smoothly, if we can understand what’s behind the way someone behaves at work, it makes it much easier to help them and others to get along well together.

There’s still a lot to do, and it’s important not to jump to blaming or shaming. But understanding Why can be a crucial first step.


To discover more practical tips and strategies for dealing with a difficult person and quickly improving workplace relationships, please check-out my book The 9 Types of Difficult People or explore more of the articles and resources on this website.

My Book in Stylist Magazine: 9 types of difficult people you’ll come across at work

Very pleased to see that we’re getting some great coverage of The 9 Types of Difficult People!

The latest to appear is an article in Stylist Magazine, which bills itself as:

“… the UK’s leading media brand for professional women; talking to 5 million UK women a month and making up 40% of the women’s lifestyle sector.”

I like this article because it gives a good overview of each of the 9 types of difficult people at work. And it features really practical hints and tips to turn things around and create great working relationships for everybody.


Here’s the link to the full article in the magazine:

➽ There are 9 types of difficult people you’ll come across at work – here’s how to deal with each


Overcoming the Barriers to Personal Growth

Our marketing director said I was aggressive and pushy.

It was a big slap in the face – mostly because I knew it was true, but thought I’d hidden it by being ‘nice’.

Once I got over the shock, it became one of the best bits of feedback I’ve ever had, starting a great period of personal growth.

But lots of barriers can get in the way of personal growth. Which is a shame, because all the important developments in our professional lives are built on it. It can be a practical, useful way to achieve what we want. Whether that’s a big promotion, more balance so that tasks and working relationships are easier and not such a slog, or the delivery of a significant project.


Here’s how to overcome the barriers to personal growth:

  • Seek Feedback
    It’s painful, but other people can sometimes see things that we can’t see or won’t acknowledge;
  • Look for Incongruence
    If you feel different on the inside to how you think you ‘ought’ to be on the outside, that’s a clue to what your personal growth might need to focus on;
  • Clear Outcomes
    Personal growth should be a useful, practical thing. What is it that you want to achieve?
  • Experiment
    Growth comes from trying out new ways of being; learning from what works and what doesn’t. Experiment with how you do and say things.

The key to overcoming the barriers to personal growth is to risk being vulnerable in order to discover something helpful.

How about you? What personal growth are you looking for - and what barriers are you finding? Click To Tweet
An orchestral conductor holds a baton above some sheet music

27 Executive Coaching Tips: A Cheat Sheet for Enhancing Your Leadership Skills

Elevate your leadership skills with these 27 quick and effective executive coaching tips. Boost your team’s morale and productivity today

Leadership is like conducting a symphony. It’s about bringing together different instruments (team members) to create a harmonious performance. Here are 27 quick tips to help you conduct your leadership symphony:

  1. Embrace Learning: Stay open to new ideas.
  2. Lead by Example: Actions speak louder than words.
  3. Communicate Clearly: Clarity builds trust.
  4. Delegate Wisely: Empower your team.
  5. Give Constructive Feedback: Encourage growth.
  6. Listen Actively: Show your team they’re heard.
  7. Foster Positivity: Be the beacon of optimism in your office.
  8. Embrace Change: Turn it into opportunities.
  9. Promote Teamwork: Celebrate collective achievements.
  10. Invest in Self-Care: You can’t pour from an empty cup.
  11. Set Clear Goals: Give your team a clear direction.
  12. Show Empathy: Understand your team’s perspective.
  13. Be Decisive: Make informed decisions promptly.
  14. Stay Humble: Remember, we all have plenty to learn and everyone has something to teach you.
  15. Be Consistent: Consistency builds trust.
  16. Encourage Innovation: Foster a culture of creativity.
  17. Show Appreciation: Recognise your team’s efforts.
  18. Stay Resilient: Get knocked down seven times – get up eight.
  19. Practice Patience: Good things take time.
  20. Be Transparent: Honesty also fosters trust.
  21. Stay Adaptable: Be ready to change direction (and change your mind) when necessary.
  22. Promote Balance: Good work-life balance boosts creativity as well as productivity.
  23. Eyes on the Prize: Stay focused on the outcomes you want.
  24. Encourage Autonomy: Trust your team’s abilities and intentions.
  25. Stay Organised: Boost focus and efficiency with well-structured workflow.
  26. Promote Continuous Improvement: Strive for better, always.
  27. Be Approachable: Let your team know they can come to you.

Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about striving for improvement, one step at a time.

Share your own tip – what’s helped your leadership the most? @ me on twitter

A big green tree with branches, in a field against a blue sky and white clouds

How to Use Self-Reflection for Personal Growth These Days

Turn the mirror on yourself for up-to-the-minute growth. Discover the power of self-reflection

Self-reflection is like looking in a mirror, not to scrutinise your appearance, but to understand your inner-self.

Here are three contemporary ways to use self-reflection for personal growth that’s current and relevant:

  • Identify Strengths: Reflect on your achievements and successes. What skills and qualities helped you reach these heights? These strengths are like the big branches of your personal growth tree.
  • Recognise Weaknesses: It’s equally important to acknowledge areas for improvement. Don’t see these as failures, because doing that makes it hard to accept and learn from the experience. Instead, think of them as the roots, nourishing your growth tree so it can become stronger.
  • Set Goals for Improvement: Once you’ve identified your strengths and weaknesses, set specific, achievable goals for growth. These are the fruits you aim to harvest from your tree that will keep you up-to-the-minute next time around.

Remember, self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth.

Use it wisely, and you’ll see your growth tree flourish now and in future.


What’s one personal growth goal you have for 2023? Share in the comments below while they’re open or @ me on twitter –  and let’s grow together.