‘Excess’ Stress Strategy: When Dealing with Pressure Goes Wrong – Difficult People Types 4, 5, and 6

“It feels like you’ve got hit by a truck when you work with them.”
“It’s like you’ve got this awful tiger by the tail and you can’t let go.”
“They just shoot the messenger every time they want to control their image.”

These are real things people have said to me about three types of difficult people I describe in the middle row of my Matrix of Difficult People.

What These Types Have in Common

The thing these three types share is what I call an Excess reaction when they are under stress. Put them under pressure and they will simply try harder and harder.

• They push their to-do list with even more intensity.
• They try to change everything as fast as possible.
• They make sure nobody sees that anything might be going wrong.
• They sweep up control to keep their empire and their image intact.

Isn’t Trying Harder a Good Thing?

If you are anything like me, you might think: Nick, what’s so bad about trying harder under pressure? Surely that’s a good thing.
And I agree. It is a good thing—until trying harder becomes the only strategy available and no longer fits the circumstances.

• Ticking off tasks might not actually create meaningful change and instead makes colleagues feel like they’ve been hit by a truck.
• Speeding up change might lock out key stakeholders or burn one bridge too many.

When that happens, the impact is no longer positive. What once worked now creates difficulty for everyone involved.

When One Strategy No Longer Fits

This is what happens when an Excess strategy takes over. The people on the middle row of my matrix – such as the Driving Force, the Revolutionary, and the Empire Builder – rely on a single way of working that no longer suits the situation. To those around them, it suddenly feels like they have become difficult.

Find Out More

If you want to know more about how these patterns play out and how to deal with them, have a look at my book
The 9 Types of Difficult People
or search for the hashtag #9typesofdifficultpeople. You will find more videos and resources on this subject.

I’m Nick Robinson, an executive coach with over 25 years’ professional experience helping people and teams transform challenging dynamics into great working relationships.
If you are dealing with a difficult relationship at work or a team that is not pulling together, check out the book or get in touch for more personal support.