The Martyr at Work- How to lead and develop a difficult but principled colleague

1: Who is the Martyr?

Judgemental, disdainful, highly-principled and self-sacrificing.

At work, the Martyr might despise you, burn you out – or both. But one thing they won’t do is compromise.

If you get the relationships right though, Martyrs can be transformative leaders and deeply loyal colleagues.

  • They’ll seek out far-reaching improvements.
  • They’ll act selflessly in service of customers and clients.
  • At their best, a Martyr will be the kind of person who makes you sigh with relief when they arrive, because they’re prepared to tackle issues that everybody else thought were impossible.

I’m Nick Robinson. I’ve been an Executive Coach for over 25 years and I wrote the best-selling book The 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson.

My book is all about turning challenging dynamics into great working relationships – so everyone can be at their best at work. It’s about helping people to do well and to feel good about it.

This article accompanies my video series on The Martyr – a highly principled person who can become difficult if they don’t feel that others are as committed as they are.

In the rest of this article, I’ll show you how to spot a Martyr, how to lead them well, and how to develop them into a powerful and influential leader.

Follow me for more on The Martyr – and for practical ways to handle challenging dynamics at work.

2: How to Spot a Martyr

The Martyr at work is highly-principled – and can become difficult if they feel their bosses and colleagues aren’t as committed as they are.

If you miss the signs, their refusal to compromise and habit of burning themselves out can cause real problems:

  • Deliverables you thought were certain can vanish.
  • Key stakeholders get cut out – no longer trusted to contribute.
  • The Martyr sacrifices their own wellbeing and ends up unable to support an overstretched team.
  • This article accompanies my short video series on The Martyr – one of the nine types from my book.

I’m Nick Robinson, Executive Coach and author of The 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson.

Here’s what to look for if you think you’ve got a Martyr on your hands.

1️⃣ Martyrs often turn their back on colleagues they see as less principled:

  • They might ignore them – or be openly disdainful: “They don’t care about what really matters!”

2️⃣ You and others might be denied access to their teams:

  • Inside that defensive cordon, weaker team members may be carried – not developed or moved on.

3️⃣ Projects may stall – not through lack of effort, but because there’s no influencing:

  • No horse-trading. No compromise. And that’s what gets things done in the real world.

In the next part, I’ll show you how to lead a Martyr.

Follow me for more ways to turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships.

3: How to Lead a Martyr

They won’t compromise. But they will judge you – especially if you don’t match their level of commitment or principles.

That’s the Martyr at work. To lead them well, it’s crucial to re-engage with their principles.

Get this right, and a Martyr can become an influential leader – fearlessly ready to tackle anything.

Get it wrong, and you’ll be locked out. Projects stalled. The Martyr and their team burnt out.

This article accompanies my short video series on The Martyr

I’m Nick Robinson, Executive Coach and author of the best-selling 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson.

Here’s how to re-engage with a Martyr and lead them well.

First: their courage is often external. They act for a cause, not personal ambition:

  • To connect, show them you’ve got principles too – and that you’ll also stand up for them.

Second: Martyrs often overlook real-world constraints:

  • Bring them into planning – so they see the limits, the stakeholders to be influenced, and why compromise matters if progress is to happen.

Finally: don’t play into their self-sacrifice:

  • Did you set them up to fail by handing over the impossible?
  • Is your culture so averse to failure that they feel forced to work in secret?

In the next part, I’ll show you how to develop a Martyr into a powerful, effective leader.

Follow me for practical tips on handling challenging dynamics at work.

4: How to Develop a Martyr

Judgemental. Disdainful. Highly-principled. Self-sacrificing. At work, the Martyr might despise you, burn you out – or both. But they won’t compromise.

Developing a Martyr takes trust – but it’s worth it.

When they get it, a Martyr becomes a powerhouse – able to influence past roadblocks, supported by loyal followers, and sustained by healthy balance.

This is the final part accompanying my short video series on The Martyr.

I’m Nick Robinson – Executive Coach and author of the best-selling 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson.

If you’re a leader or HR professional looking to develop a Martyr’s potential – here are four things to cover.

1️⃣ Martyrs often see others as weak – not living up to their principles and integrity.

  • Help them explore how those judgements can block progress on things they care about.

2️⃣ Explore how their refusal to compromise can often hide a fear of being blamed for an imperfect outcome.

3️⃣ Help them see that influencing isn’t bad.

  • It’s not manipulation. It’s about finding common ground so everyone benefits.

4️⃣ Get them thinking about the true cost of their self-sacrifice.

  • How could they work with those who aren’t fully on-side – rather than always pushing against them?

So that’s the Martyr: Driven. Highly-principled. Capable of being an inspiring leader, with great influencing skills and a healthy balance.

Follow me for more practical tips on turning challenging dynamics into great working relationships. You can find The 9 Types of Difficult People on Amazon [here] and in any good bookstore.

How Leaders can Spot, Deal With and Transform a Dark Strategist

Have you got a colleague or a team member who thinks you’re a bit stupid and somehow always lets you know it?

Who tries to manage people like chess pieces; to be moved around as they see fit, until it’s time to go back in the box?

If this makes things difficult at work, then you might have a Dark Strategist on your team.

In this video I explain who a Dark Strategist is and why it’s crucial to do something about them. I’ll talk about how to spot them, the problems they cause and how to start changing things for the better.

I’m Nick Robinson and I’m an Executive Coach and the author of The 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson. I’ve been coaching for over 25 years and I specialise in helping difficult individuals and teams to be effective and feel good about their work.

How Leaders Can Spot, Deal With, and Transform a Scary Specialist

The Scary Specialist is the expert who isn’t afraid to let you know it.

They’ll weaponise their expertise to avoid being controlled. In the wrong circumstances they can cause significant damage to your organisation. Forcing people to leave or quiet-quit, paradoxically lowering performance. Making you and colleagues tiptoe around them, blocking your attempts to improve things and blaming everybody else for not being up to the job.

But at their best, they can be great. Raising standards, setting the pace for delivery and being the powerhouse of your business.

In this video for leaders and HR professionals, I’ve set out:

  • how to spot a Scary Specialist; the signs to look out for, the impacts to be aware of;
  • my three leadership strategies for dealing with a Scary Specialist and making sure you hang-on to what makes them useful;
  • four must-try development tips for transforming them into someone who, instead of being scary, will uplift the whole team.

If you found this helpful, share it with a colleague who’s facing a Scary Specialist. And follow for more on turning difficult dynamics into great working relationships.