The Rock: Difficult Person Type 8
If you have a colleague who is not moving a project forward and it feels as if you have hit solid granite, nothing budging no matter how hard you push, that is a Rock. Type 8 in my 9 Types of Difficult People.
On the surface, a Rock is usually calm, dependable and unshakeable. Underneath, they’re gripping the foundation so tightly that nothing can shift until they are convinced it is safe.
And this is where the problems start. Progress slows, deadlines slide, and everyone else wonders why everything takes so long!
What’s Really Going On
Rocks have an instinct for how everything fits together. They see the invisible plumbing of an organisation: all the connections and dependencies.
They worry that if one valve is turned too quickly, something somewhere else will burst. Their resistance is not laziness and it’s not awkwardness. It’s fear that something important will break.
Good Foundations – But No Building
I once worked with a Rock who was responsible for a key operational system. Whenever the leadership team launched a new project, he would nod, take the papers and then disappear for weeks.
When I asked how things were going, he would say: “Oh, it’s all fine; we’re tidying up the old database first.”
What he really meant was: I am making sure the foundations are solid before I build on top. The problem was that no one else knew progress wasn’t happening!
If You’re Leading or Coaching a Rock
The worst thing you can do is treat their caution as negativity. Instead:
- Show that you understand the risks they are guarding against
- Demonstrate your own sense of responsibility; that you’ve also thought through the consequences of what’s going on
- Involve them early in the planning process, so that you can ask them what they think could go wrong; and
- Make sure you listen properly to their concerns
Once they know you value their foresight, they will shift from blocker to ally.
When You’re Working with a Rock
Persuasion works best when it is framed as problem avoidance.
- Don’t say: “We need to do this to innovate.”
- Do say: “We need to do this now, so it doesn’t cause bigger problems later on.”
If you speak their language of prevention and continuity, they will often quickly get on board.
If You Report to a Rock
Remember that Rocks often hold themselves and their teams to very high standards. They will put in long hours keeping everything running smoothly and will expect the same from you.
It helps to:
- Set clear boundaries early, at the same time as …
- Showing you are dependable
- Making sure you don’t let their workload quietly swallow yours.
When Rocks Are at Their Best
They are the calm centre of the storm: solid, consistent, trusted by everyone.
They:
- See how the moving parts connect
- Anticipate problems before they appear
- Give organisations the stability that allows real progress to happen
When you recognise that and include them properly, Rocks stop being barriers and become the foundation of lasting success.
About me
I am an executive coach helping leaders and senior teams turn challenging dynamics into great working relationships. I coach and write about how senior leadership teams can fulfil their potential and how leaders and managers can deal with difficult relationships and people at work. My first full-length book, The 9 Types of Difficult People, published by Pearson, is an Amazon and WHSmith best-seller.
If you or your team might need coaching support, please get in touch.
